can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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