I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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