The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
