I just saw a hot homeless man
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
