well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
