yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
