Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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