I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
