If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
