I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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