Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I think your dad took our porno
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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