sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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