My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I don't think brook has ever known best
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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