We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize