I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
