Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
