PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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