Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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