Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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