This girl is more easily done than said...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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