I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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