awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I didn't notice because vodka
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize