I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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