why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
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I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
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You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I know her cup size but not her name....
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