glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
