Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
