I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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