I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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