what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
