went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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