i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Text me some of your sweat
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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