hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
