The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
