You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
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