haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
