Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
