This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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