So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
