At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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