Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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