ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
