and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.