I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now