I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
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Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
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I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.