she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.