She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize