saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
