my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
