True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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