I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
