Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
