i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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