I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
