so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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