i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
