I wish I only lived at night.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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