Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
