i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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