have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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