she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
