I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
